Dad, I really miss you

bj_1988

It was the summer from hell. It started on Memorial Day.
A tearful call from my mom … she said they were OK.
But the their home for many years — it was on fire.
It was caused by a fan that had a faulty wire.

What would they do? I flew to Chicago to help them find an answer.
Complicating matters was my dad’s spreading cancer.
We consulted with insurance, they set them up in a hotel.
But not used to his surroundings, my dad got out of bed and fell.

For the rest of the summer, a nursing home is where he’d live.
It wasn’t what we wanted, but without a home there was no alternative.
Living out of luggage, my mom spent hours bedside visiting her spouse,
While juggling insurance and reconstruction of their house.

Keeping my dad in the loop every step of the way,
Making it handicap accessible so in his home he could stay.
But he increasingly grew weak, they hospitalized him to be cautious.
The cancer was spreading so fast, the only place to go was hospice.

On Sept. 20, 2014, I got the call I’d come to dread.
My Ninong was on the phone to tell me my dad was dead.
I had braced for this moment for more than 10 years.
But all that preparation didn’t stop the tears.

Dad was sick for so long, but his will you couldn’t bend.
He beat death many times, but cancer was his end.
A few days after his funeral, while we were still all very sad
Their home was finally ready, but it was weird without my dad.

Looking at his handicap-accessible room, which he never would see.
I felt a breadth of emotions sweeping over me.
Hard to believe it’s been two years, the time really flew.
I still think about him every day. Dad, I really miss you.

Thank you Tita, Manong

Manong and me.

With both parents working and no living grandparents, I was the kid who bounced around from home to home after school. One of those homes was Tita Oding’s. She lived in an attic apartment on 112th and Avenue G, just kitty-corner from Annunciata grade school. She told me she would watch be from her kitchen window during recess. Once the school bell rang, I’d race across the street and up the 13 stairs to her apartment. I was always greeted with a warm smile and hug, and a Filipino cookie (Barquillos were my favorite). I would do my homework, watch some TV and graze on awesome Filipino food. Around 5, depending on the day, I’d say goodbye to Tita Oding and walk a few blocks, either north to the East Side Little League field for a baseball game/practice, or south a few blocks to meet my dad, who would always promptly be home at 5:30.
Manong Jun was like a drop-in member of our household. Although he was technically my cousin, he was significantly older than me, and was more like an uncle. I adored him. He took me to concerts (including the first of a half-dozen Cheap Trick concerts I’ve attended), he taught me a lot about electronics (lessons that I — and many others — have benefitted from whether its setting up surround sound for a relative or managing audio at my church), and “rescued me” from the Chicago Skyway after my first car accident. He was such a good role model. He truly lived his life selfessly, and would sacrifice anything for the people he loved.

I never had the opportunity to thank Tita Oding and Manong Jun for the impact they had on my life. They moved more than a decade ago back to the Phillippines. I became busy, with a family of my own and a growing career. At times I thought I should write them, but Facebook and email seemed so impersonal. I meant to send a card and letter, but never etched out the time to write one. I could’ve called, but I just don’t like long phone conversations.

After my dad died two years ago, my mom and I talked about planning a trip to the Phillippines together. This visit with my mom would be perfect. I would finally be able to express my gratitude to Tita Oding and Manong Jun, in person.

But it’s expensive to fly to the Phillippines. There were too many family and work commitments. It made sense to save up for such a trip rather than charging it. Maybe next year. Or the year after that.

Tita Oding died last March. And Manong Jun died last night. They died not knowing how thankful I am. They died without knowing how much they impacted me. They died without knowing how much I love them.

A character trait they both enforced in me was the importance of family. Friends are great to have, but when it comes down to it, blood is thicker than friendship. I failed to heed this wisdom. I was too busy with my own life to thank them for helping to make me who I am and how much they mean to me. And now they’ll never know.

Quietly praying

Originally published on http://www.oconeestreetumc.com on March 4, 2016 as part of a Lenten Devotional series.

by Joe Dennis

Matthew 6:5-6
And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

In this politically-charged season, as some of our candidates flaunt their Christianity by using public prayer in their political outings, I am often reminded of something a political science professor once told me: “If you have to keep saying you’re running a ‘grassroots campaign,’ then it is likely not a ‘grassroots campaign.’ Likewise, I often wonder about our politicians who flaunt their Christianity.

Being educated in Catholic schools from kindergarten to 12th grade, prayer was a daily, mandatory part of the school day. Students would recite the same rote prayers every day, followed by the Pledge of Allegiance. I’m sure they were trying to instill good, Christian (and patriotic) habits in us. It didn’t work for me. Immediately after graduation and through my early adulthood, I abandoned prayer.

When Carla and I discovered Oconee Street UMC in 2001, getting back to the weekly habit of going to church was easy for me. Prayer proved much more difficult. It was during the aftermath of 9/11, and public prayer was becoming commonplace. But just like all those Catholic school days, the prayers felt empty to me.

Then I stumbled upon this verse, and it made complete sense. In order for prayer to work, I need to have a one-on-one connection with God. I need the silence to organize my thoughts to communicate with God. I need to be alone in the presence of God, so God can reach me.

If I flaunt my Christianity, my reward is Earthly: as people around me hear my prayers, they will praise me for being such a good Christian. But if I pray by myself in private, God is hearing my prayers, and my reward is Heavenly.

I’d much prefer the latter.

Prayer: God, thank you for the one-on-one time you give me every time I pray. Amen.

I Saw Jesus Today, but I Ignored Him

I Saw Jesus Today
by Joe Dennis

Originally published on http://www.oconeestreetumc.com on March 16, 2016 as part of a Lenten Devotional series.

Matthew 25:34-40 (NIV)
“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.

I saw Jesus today, but I ignored him. If I made eye contact, I would be compelled to help. But I just didn’t have time today. I was running errands. Besides, Jesus is always there — on the corner of Hawthorne and Broad — looking for some help. I didn’t have cash, anyway. I’m sure someone else helped him. I will help Jesus next time.

Jesus visited me today, but I ignored his concern. I could tell something was wrong, and if I asked how he was doing, I would be compelled to listen. But I just didn’t have time today. I had so much work to do — I was running behind. Besides, Jesus can talk to other people about his problems. That’s not my job, anyway. I’m sure someone else listened to him. I will listen to Jesus next time.

Jesus called me today, but I ignored the call. I knew the conversation would last a long time. If I answered, I would be compelled to engage in a conversation. But I just didn’t have time today. I just finished working a 12-hour day and I needed the time to decompress. Besides, Jesus calls me every day looking to talk. My phone battery was low, anyway. I’m sure she was able to talk to someone else. I will talk to Jesus next time.

I received a message from Jesus today, but I ignored it. The notification popped up on my phone, but I never opened the message. I knew the message would be long and filled with emotional despair. If I opened the message, I would be compelled to write back. But I just didn’t have time today. I’ve been looking forward to watching this movie for months. Besides, Jesus frequently writes me. I wasn’t at my computer, anyway. I’m sure someone else responded. I will write Jesus next time.

Prayer: Jesus, even though you are always reaching out to me, I am constantly ignoring you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.

Taking a Look at the Costs of Health Care for the Homeless

A True Accounting: Taking a Look at the Costs of Health Care for the Homeless

by Joe Dennis
Originally published in Flagpole (cover story)  on Feb. 28, 2007

Athens hospitals – and in effect hospital consumers – spent more than $12 million in 2005 providing care to area homeless people.

“A lot of people don’t realize the serious homeless problem we have in Athens,” says Evan Mills, community development specialist with the Athens-Clarke County Department of Human and Economic Development. “The economic costs of homelessness are very high, and when it comes to health care, the hospitals have to make up that cost somewhere. The expense trickles down to those who pay for their hospital care.” Mills, who conducts the county’s annual homeless census, got the idea for a study of those costs based on similar studies done in Asheville, NC and San Francisco, CA. He collected 891 Social Security numbers obtained from area homeless providers – such as the Athens Area Homeless Shelter, the Salvation Army and the Homeless Day Service Center – and submitted them to Athens Regional Medical Center (ARMC) and St. Mary’s Health Care System to compare with their service records for the year 2005. What Mills found over the three-month study shocked him: 576 area homeless people accounted for 7,000 total hospital visits. Including emergency room, inpatient and outpatient services, and ambulance rides, the total cost absorbed by hospitals in providing care to homeless patients was $12.38 million.

According to the study, repeat visits account for a large part of the hospital bill, with 234 homeless individuals visiting the hospital more than eight times during the year for a cost of $4.2 million, or approximately $19,950 per individual. The preferred entry point for homeless patients is the emergency room, with 4,687 ER visits during the year costing more than $3.23 million. Nearly half of the homeless individuals who visited one of the hospitals were also identified as clients who have been diagnosed as having a mental health and/ or addictive disorder by Advantage Behavioral Health Systems, a state-funded agency that provides mental health care services to the uninsured.

No Surprises

The high use of the hospital by homeless individuals with mental health or addictive disorders doesn’t surprise Laurie Wilburn, adult mental health services coordinator for the Athens office of Advantage.

“It’s really difficult if you’re sleeping out on the streets or living from shelter to shelter to consistently take your medications and manage your symptoms,” she says. “What happens is many of these people end up in a crisis and head to the emergency room.” Who pays the bill? The $12 million spent on homeless individuals is part of a combined $47.5 million the two Athens hospitals spent in uncompensated care in 2005. “A homeless person is no different than someone in the working poor who is getting paid minimum wage and has no insurance,” says John Drew, President and CEO of ARMC. “It becomes a cost that the hospital, and the doctor, has to absorb in its cost structure.” The expense is made up through higher costs for hospital procedures, personal care, equipment and supplies. Since most paying customers of the hospital have health insurance, these higher costs are billed to insurance companies who eventually pass on the additional expense to the consumer and employer providing the insurance. “It’s truly a hidden tax to those who are paying for private insurance,” Drew says. “In essence, everyone in this country is helping bear the load for the uninsured, and at nearly 50 million people, that number is increasingly growing.” For uninsured people, the emergency room has become the destination of choice for health care needs. Under federal law, emergency departments are required to provide lifesaving care to those who need it, regardless of their ability to pay. However, Drew says hospitals have traditionally provided much more than lifesaving care in the ER, taking care of all patients who walk through the doors. “It’s the charitable mission of the hospital,” he says.

It’s also the most expensive form of care. In a July 2006 letter to Judge Steve Jones, chairman of Partners for a Prosperous Athens, Drew and St. Mary’s President and CEO Thomas Fitz expressed concern about the increasing use of their emergency rooms. “At both of our hospitals we see excessive use of emergency services by patients who have no other access to health care,” they wrote.

While the hospitals provide care to all who walk through the doors, it’s up to hospital administrators to determine how to make up the expense of treating the uninsured. “We have to be around for tomorrow,” Drew says. “We can have small aberrations, but what we’re going through now is really stretching us to the limit. The system is in a bad need of an overhaul.” A cheaper alternative? The community has a number of places that offer some form of health services to the uninsured, such as Advantage, the Athens Neighborhood Health Center, the county Health Department, the Athens Nurses Clinic and Mercy Clinic. In their letter to Judge Jones, Drew and Fitz said such programs offer much-needed primary care that can be provided at significantly lower costs than in the hospital emergency room. However, Mills points out that those programs are grossly underfunded. “Our current delivery system doesn’t have the capacity and the resources to meet the needs of patients,” he says. “And when clinics aren’t open or can’t provide the care, people go to the emergency room.” In providing health care for the homeless, Mills says the solution lies in shelter-based care. One such program already in place is the Shelter-Plus Care program run by Advantage. Funded in part by a federal grant from the Department of Housing and Urban Development, the program is part of the Assertive Community Treatment (ACT) program run by Advantage (which was described in more detail in a Flagpole article of Nov. 8, 2006). Through the

program, homeless individuals are provided an apartment in the community. Advantage staff work closely with the individuals, monitoring the clients’ mental health and/ or substance abuse issues, and linking them to available resources in the community.

“Once you get into the program, you have to do one of three things: either find a job, volunteer in the community or complete your education,” says Michael Dock, residential services coordinator with Advantage. Although the client initially doesn’t have to pay for rent, as they earn income, 30 percent of it must go towards their housing costs. As the client proceeds through the program, social workers with Advantage continue to work with the client on everything from ensuring they take their medication to providing budgeting advice.

The program works because it provides the two aspects critical in treating the homeless: shelter and care. “Housing is not enough, and providing care is not enough,” Wilburn says. “People who have a mental illness or an addictive disease don’t have the ability to maintain housing, and a homeless person with a mental illness will definitely not be able to consistently care for themselves.” The Shelter-Plus Care program currently has 21 apartments in Athens and 28 in the greater Athens area. At an annual cost of $110,000, the program spends roughly $4,000 annually for each resident, or the cost of roughly six emergency room visits. “What can cost the hospital up to $500 a day runs about $30 with one of our clients,” Wilburn says. More importantly, as clients transition out of the Shelter-Plus Care program – with the average stay at between two and three years – they become self-sufficient, Dock points out.

Forward Thinking

An easy solution? Mills says programs like the Shelter-Plus Care program are examples of how forward thinking can help alleviate a long-term problem at a much cheaper cost. “The hospitals are spending more than $12 million to provide health care to the homeless,” he says. “We can eradicate homelessness with just half that amount.” Mills backs up his statement using the following logic: taking the estimated 475 homeless people in Athens according to the 2006 homeless count, and multiplying that by the Athens fair market rent of a one-bedroom apartment at $500 a month ($6,000 a year) results in a total cost of $2.85 million. That would leave more than $3 million for area health care clinics, job training programs, childcare programs and other homeless services.

Furthermore, Mills says this would put the person in a stable environment, and as they transition into work would convert them from being a strain on the system to being a contributing taxpayer. They would rely less – if at all – on charitable care as they begin to join the ranks of the insured.

Unfortunately, because that $12 million expense is money that doesn’t exist in one place – instead spread out through thousands of insured employees and employers – it’s not that simple to obtain that money. However, Mills hopes that future efforts by the city and local organizations – including the collaboration of Partners for a Prosperous Athens – will consider such sweeping solutions.

“We can really wrap our hands around the homeless problem in Athens,” Mills says, contrasting the relatively small homeless population of Athens to the large populations cities like Atlanta and Augusta. “We’ve got enough folks in Athens that care a lot about this issue. We just don’t have the resources we need. If we had the resources, we could really make a dent.”